Signed ~ Just Another Broken Pot – Joylene Medom

0 comments // Categories: Sharing // Monday November 8th, 2010

I wrote this 2 years ago but would like to share it now. I know pain that crushes and shatters any will to live. I know desperation that will grasp for any source of escape. I know a tiredness that cripples the soul. I know emptiness so hollow that every smile or laughter is a pathetic echo of mere existence. I know a sorrow that parches the heart of every teardrop it can possibly create. And I know I am not the first to experience these aches of life, nor will I be the last. I have, no doubt, questioned, blamed and been angry at God for some things I have been through. I wonder why He didn’t stop it. I know some were consequences of my actions, but some were consequences of others’ too. Despite my frustration at being unable to understand the why’s of hurts in my life – I have come to respect brokenness and the hidden blessings it brings. Brokenness often results in forced humility. It shatters any illusion of self-righteousness, perfection, or pride. It pulls the rug out from under your feet just when you think you’re standing tall and strong. It’s a reality check that has permanent side-effects. Once you’re broken, the cracks remain. And I actually think it can be beautiful…if you’re able to pull those pieces back together and learn from them. The beauty of a broken person, when healed, is their tenderness and new perspective. I would have never pulled out of my tormented state if I hadn’t met someone else who was willing to share her own story and reveal personal things to simply show that if she got through that, I can too. The beauty of brokenness is also its testimony to tenacity and strength. Being broken didn’t stop this dear one from living. She refused to let it defeat who she could still be. And her courage to go on, and willingness to share her story, saved many despairing lives. I haven’t met many like her though. Showing any sign of vulnerability or honestly sharing your heart is rare, and faces ridicule or gossip. So we protect ourselves by hiding any insecurity or damage; sinful habits; any painful memory of abuse, divorce, unfaithfulness, betrayal, death; and we smile and do the norm for fear that if anyone finds out that we’re not as strong or great as we seem to be, we won’t be liked anymore. I say all this because I identify with some of these things. I know the pressure of needing to put a good front in public. I thought if I made myself vulnerable, I would be looked down upon and abandoned. I no longer believe that. We are all human. We all have failed and fallen short of the glory of God. We are all broken one way or another, in varying degrees. And we are all coping with it in some way, self-destructive or not. Perhaps if we stopped allowing the fear of rejection to dictate our actions, we’d discover that sharing one’s broken pieces with another begins a healing that can be complete and lasting. Healing takes a lot of love, and a lot of time. And it comes from the Lord as well as His people. A one-act play by Thornton Wilder – The Angel That Troubled The Waters – based on John 5:1-4, tenderly captures this. ‘A physician periodically comes to the pool of Bethesda hoping to be first in line and be healed of his melancholy. The angel finally appears but blocks the physician just as he is ready to step into the water. The angel tells the physician to draw back, for this moment is not for him. The physician pleads for help in a broken voice, but the angel insists that healing is not intended for him. As the dialogue continues, the angel says these prophetic words, “Without your wounds where would your power be? It is your melancholy that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men and women. The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In Love’s service, only wounded soldiers can serve. Physician, draw back.” Broken people are the best in the healing process of other broken people. There are no empty words, no superficial ‘It’ll be ok’, no false cheery smiles. Pain is pain no matter how much you sugar-coat it and scars do remain. But the wounds don’t have to stay fresh – that part of life is up to you. You can choose to leave your broken pieces scattered and engage in a variety of actions to suppress, camouflage or ignore them; or you can choose to piece them back together and allow the Lord and people who really care, heal you with their love. As one who found wholeness because the Lord brought one broken person to share her testimony of God’s grace and strength in the face of darkness, I’d suggest the latter because then, you can pass on the blessing to others who need it. There are many hurting people out there, and it’s nice when a few are ready and willing to share their own stories so others can find hope and strength through it. You can never control what happens to you. You can always control what you make of it. Brokenness does not have to be the end.